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” Those thoughts are toxic and seizes up your body.When you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, you get so ******* close to hating them. You hate that they've ripped you open, eaten you up and have left you to decay. You hate that they have let you hate yourself more than you could ever hate them. You hate them because of the things they gave you which weren't all good. And the things they stole. Like crying on their shoulders which they gave, but your pride they took.When you're in love with someone for the first time and they don't love you back, you never want to fall in love again. You never want attachments with anyone because of this substantial pain that is constantly there. You never want to kiss with love, talk with love, witness love. You never want love unless, it's that one person you love. That's the only thing that matters. Love had a horrible reputation, it's either make it or ******* break it. Not take it.When you're hurt by someone who can't feel pain,. But when I look deep into my heart (not that I actually have a heartany longer), I have to realize it all worked out as it was meant to....I am a woman's blouse and have been for at least 20 years now. I was a manfor 34 years before that and had lived a rather unremarkable and lonelylife. I was the fourth and last child of a middle-class couple whoprovided for all of their children's material needs but few of theirspiritual ones.In school, was a B and C student, had few friends, participated in noextracurricular activities. After graduating, I got a job on the loadingdock of the local Kmart. Lucky for me, they soon discovered that while Ididn't really have the brawn for the position, I was enough of a drudge tobe good with uninteresting, repetitive detail work. I was soon movedinside to a clerical position, and I stayed there until the day of mytransformation.I dated four women, I think, during the sixteen years after I graduatedfrom high school. I don't think I was a bad looking.
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